1. Keep a calendar or journal for at least 2 weeks of when, where, and what happens when the meltdown occurs.
2. Look at your journal and see if you can notice any pattern such as day of the week, time of day, right before an event or proceeding an event etc.
3. If you notice a pattern or "trigger" see if you can figure out why a trigger is a trigger.
4. Meltdowns most often occur when a child is hungry, tired, over stimulated, scared or anxious. If a meltdown occurs and you think maybe the child is hungry give them a protein snack, not a sugar or carbohydrate snack. Utilize what I call "Time Ins" hug the child, keep them close by, turn off all outside stimulation (TV, radio, video games etc.) As the parent you don't do a lot of talking, but just be with your child. If it is anxieties and fears- provide reassurance, give positive direction (tell the child what will happen etc.) Let them have a comfort object, a blanket or doll or stuffed animal.
5. Be directive - Tell the child what you expect, tell the child how they are to act, what is going to happen, what they can expect from you.
6. Talk in a non-emotive calm voice, even if you are not feeling so calm.
7. The louder they get the quieter you get.
8. Determine if your child able to calm himself or herself down or do they need you to take some control and do the calming for them.
9. Don't try and deal with a discipline issue when a child is in a melt down state or hand out consequences at this time. Your goal is to help your child regain control so that life can go on. Once the child is calm and feels more secure then deal with the behavior or discipline issue.
10. Be positive tell them you love them and model control for them.